Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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