What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
