Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
