Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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