We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
He kissed a someone with a penis
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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