I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
