It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
