BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
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I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
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I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
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