Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
