I hate all girls vehemently.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
