I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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