dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Randomize
