you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
