suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize