I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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