All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Randomize
