I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
