i permit you to call me
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
