can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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