Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize