I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
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