I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
