so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
