on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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