i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
