im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Randomize
