I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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