u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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