so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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