My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
