is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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