I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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