I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
