I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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