we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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