Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
