He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
