Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
