when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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