I need help removing her.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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