these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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