white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
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