ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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