I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
