I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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