yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
