So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
