I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
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I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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