I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
