i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I puked a lego.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize