is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
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My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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