That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
