I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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