Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
