Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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