dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
