My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
