a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
