Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
is it fun? or sober?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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