can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
