Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize
