so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
