I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
