She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
