There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
