he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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