i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
