I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize