I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
