alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
